“We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way. Appreciation is a wonderful feeling, don’t overlook it.” –Author unknown
A week later was my yearly exam with one of my long-time favorite doctor. I have been her patient for over 10 years. I still remember my first appointment her. I felt so lucky to find such a warm, bubbly, and new-aged thinking physician who understood me. I had followed her from her practice in the city to the suburbs and again when she changed hospitals. I was so excited to update her on my upcoming egg freezing plans. She was the first person I couldn’t wait to tell. She had got me thinking about these topics in my early twenties, long before I worked in the fertility medical industry or knew better.
It had been over a year since my last regular check-up. My travels and busy work schedule made it rather difficult to make time. This year was different. In order to continue on my egg freezing journey, I needed a clean bill of health from my primary care physician. As I patiently waited for her to come into my room, I thought about all the things I wanted to share with her. In mid thought, I heard a knock on the door and she walked in. “It’s has been way too long, how are you?” she said in the warmest welcoming voice ever. “Oh, I have so much to tell you.” I replied.
The appointment felt like only minutes as we caught up like old friends. Despite the annoying, but necessary yearly pap-smear, we laughed about the past, dreamed about the future, and talked about my upcoming plans. I explained to her how I was finally taking the next steps to freezing my eggs and juicy topics like the latest dating experiences (which are always endless). Luckily all my STD / STI testing came back clear and I was given the green light to move on to the next steps of egg freezing. Often times most do not think about getting tested for any infectious diseases. There are several STIs that can cause infertility. An easy way to get tested is to order your at-home testing kit from MyLab Box (use code EGGCLUB for 10% off your purchase). The test is discrete, confidential and results are available via online.
Finally, she turned to me and said, “You know you are doing the right thing. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. I wish I had thought about it earlier, so I wouldn’t have struggled with fertility so much. I always wanted babies, but I thought I had forever. Then when I got into my late 30s, I was willing to marry the wrong person just to have kids. By the time that relationship ended, it was pretty late but I realized I didn’t want to live my life without children in it. I knew I was going to struggle. I had to face going through IVF alone and with very little chance of success. I wish I had frozen my eggs so I could relax through the process of dating knowing that no matter where I ended up, I would have children of my own.”
“You have the foresight to avoid that predicament at a time when it is not as urgent. But let me tell you, as you know I was one of the lucky ones because IVF worked for me in my 40s, but it doesn’t work for most people. You are now avoiding that heartache of struggling with fertility and all the emotional stress that associated with that. Now you can be free to make decisions in your life now not based on fertility because you are free knowing you have frozen your eggs. I’m so blessed to have my 2 little ones, but had I planned earlier it would have been much less of a struggle. I strongly encourage you to ensure your fertility so you can take your time and enjoy your life in the meantime. You will make a great mom someday. Don’t rule out the idea of being a single mom either. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
It was so encouraging to hear a strong, powerful, successful female doctor explain how she did it all by herself and did it well. If she could be this brave I thought, so could I! I thanked her, she finished her notes, gave me the biggest hug, and then asked me to keep her in the loop of my progress. I got this, I thought as she left the room. I’m really helping my future-self. I’m giving myself options someday if I should need them. I left the doctors office inspired and motivated.
Do you have a particular friend or people in your life that encouraging and helps you through life events like this? Would love to hear about it. Who inspires you to do what you do? When you are making big life choices who do you turn to? Join the conversation and tell us your story about what the people in your life help you with. It might encourage other and help another person make a hard choice they have been struggling with. We would love to hear your thoughts as we continue this journey.