“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” ― Les Brown
It takes guts to talk about what we really want and say it out loud. I have encouraged many of my girlfriends over the years to pursue fertility treatments and talk about it. I even helped a few friends with their shots as they went through the journey. Fertility, egg freezing, cancer, and women’s health issues are an every day topic for me. Since I worked within the industry, it has taught me not only about the newest, greatest, and up-to-date technology, but how to have better healthcare and take preventive measures myself. I knew early on that I would freeze my eggs some day, it was just a matter of when I would do it. I think the knowledge allowed me to feel confident in my decision. Now was my time to take the actual steps and electing to freeze my own eggs.
None of my life choices have led me to marriage or children yet. When I think of family planning and my reproductive health, I know I desire to have a traditional family, but open to the idea of becoming a choice mom. In the past, I had a few semi long-term boyfriends. First long relationship was in high school, then one in college, and even a significant relationship in my early-to-late twenties. Now after celebrating another birthday in my 30s and still being single, this is where I am at today. True love and the person I’m going to grow old with may not come until after my fertility-fresh years are over. I want to give myself options. Options in the future that would help me accomplish goals I would want at that time. That requires one to think ahead and ask yourself the big questions of what you want. I don’t think our ‘younger-selves‘ really thinks enough about what our ‘older-self‘ will desire.
Hopefully my thought process can help bridge the gap between medical knowledge and the every day world. I realize that for most of our teen years into our early twenties were hard-wired how not to get pregnant (via: using protection and/or birth control). Birth control gave women the option to prevent unwanted pregnancies or becoming young mothers, now egg freezing could give us the option to become mothers when we are ready. I am not trying to be an alarmist, but I want to talk about these subjects frankly. I realize these topics can be sensitive or strike a nerve deep within someone’s core, but if we don’t talk about them, how will we ever know the truth of what is happening in others’ lives or how we feel about these ideas.
If we always take the easy way out, how will we ever grow? It is a conversation that we need to have with ourselves. Grant yourself the permission to be honest and explore these ideas, to dream and think big. Give yourself the freedom to evolve and change your mind too. Just because you feel one way today does not mean you have to continue to feel that way later. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks or how others will feel about your decisions. Live the life you want to live and be proud of that.
Start by asking yourself some of these hard questions:
- –What do you really want?
- –What do you value the most?
- –When do you feel the most happy and at peace?
- –How do you want your life, family, or future to look like?
- –What will it take to make this happen?
- –How do you feel about these ideas?
- –Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get there?
I encourage you to write down the answers to those questions. Get whatever is in your mind down on paper. You don’t have to show it to anyone, in fact you can keep it in a notebook like a collection of your thoughts. The important things is to get those thoughts out of your mind and physically written down. You need that physical action to make them real.
I had a track coach in high school that used this very same principle. Before my junior year of high school track, after 2 semi-lukewarm years of performances, he sat us all down and said how, “This year we were are going to write our goals down on paper.” It sounded crazy, silly, and almost foolish. “What do you mean,” we all questioned. Smiling with a sly grin he encouraged us by saying, “If you don’t write down what you want to achieve, how will you achieve it?” He was dead right! “Dream big,” he said! That year I did just that, I wrote lofty, crazy, big dream goals I wanted to complete for that track season. We all placed them in a sealed envelope, turned-in the self-addressed envelopes and basically forgot about them.
As the season progressed, to my surprise, I had the best year of my track season ever, winning most of the tournaments. Of course, some might justify that because I trained hard and put in the work in each and every day. Little did I know how the physical act my coach taught and asked us to do just months before was affecting me. It wasn’t until I was preparing for the state track & field meet, that I realize, ‘I am competing at the highest level for high school.’ It was then that my coach pulled out my self-addressed envelope and asked me to open it.
As I read aloud my own handwriting and goals, I almost cried with amazement. The very first statement written down was, ‘Go to State Track Meet for Triple Jump.’ I was shocked. That was the individual event I was set to compete in. “Wow,” I said as I hugged my coach tightly around the neck. “Thank you.” was the only thing I could get out. That year I earned Class 1A 6th Place in Triple Jump, which participated in the metal podium awards ceremony. Not only did I make a personal best record for my 6th place jump, but I also set a new school record too. I will never forget the impact of that memory, when your mind meets action for the greatness you desire.
Now it is your turn. Join the conversation and tell us what you think. We would love to hear about your opinions on the topic of egg freezing. What key things do you want from life? Do you want to freeze your eggs? What obstacles do you see in your way? If you haven’t frozen your eggs yet, do you wish you would have elected to have the procedure? Ask yourself honestly, what is holding you back? If you have already frozen your eggs, would you recommend egg freezing to a friend or family member?