When you’re little, you imagine finding the right guy (or gal) at some point during your twenties, then having your fairy-tail wedding, getting married to your partner, and having kids shortly after that. You don’t have to watch season after season of the Bachelor to realize that in reality things often turn out quite differently. For many of us, it may take till we are in our mid-to-late thirties before we find ourselves ending the search for the right partner to start a family with.
Unfortunately, as health magazines, news articles, and TV shows like to remind us, female fertility gradually declines as we approach our forties, making having a baby that little bit harder each year. So, instead of waiting and waiting for something that may not arrive on time – i.e. the perfect partner ready to have kids immediately – many of us look for a Plan B, in order to have a baby before it’s too late. Explore new options to parenthood and discover our guidebook to the several ways to becoming a mother even if you are single.
Conceive via sperm donation:
One option when you’re single is to get pregnant using donor sperm. Today there are quite a few different ways to find a sperm donor. The most well-known one is to purchase vials of sperm from a sperm bank. All donors are thoroughly screened and tested, which many people find reassuring. However, it is important to note that this option can be quite expensive and when combined with the cost of certain fertility treatments (especially IVF), may become a little financially overwhelming. If you use intrauterine insemination (IUI) as the method of delivery it could lower your cost or be covered by your insurance plan.
You can find free sperm donors online:
You might be wondering: ‘Is it possible to find sperm banks near me that aren’t too pricey?’ Well, with a good internet connection and your trusty old laptop, you can find sperm donors that live near you from the comfort of your very own home. By picking your donor online you can easily reduce costs, as many offer their sperm for free or in exchange for a small amount of compensation to cover things like transportation fees.
These days, more and more people are looking for sperm donors on social media, using networks such as Facebook, Reddit or Craigslist. Another idea is to search on specialized websites that connect intended parents with donors. This is the perfect solution for those who want to have the option of communicating directly with donors and even meeting them face-to-face, before finally making their decision.
Looking for a sperm donor online also allows you to reach an agreement that suits everyone regarding donation and conception. On top of that, this is the opportunity to select a donor who is willing to stay in contact with the future child and perhaps even play a role in their upbringing, should this be something that you want.
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting families are born with a common desire: having and raising a child together without being in a romantic partnership. Platonic parenting is an option that allows people who cannot have a baby the traditional way to finally become a parent. Co-parents can be LGBT or straight, single or in a relationship, already parents or childless.
For instance, a single woman can pair up with a single man in order to start a family together. They are not romantically involved with each other, and in most cases, they don’t live together. A gay couple and a lesbian couple can also decide to team up to achieve parenthood. In the end, their child can have two, three, four or even more parents!
What are the advantages of co-parenting?
— Unlike with anonymous sperm donation or adoption, children of co-parents are aware of their origins and grow up with their biological parents.
— Having a child without being romantically involved is a good way to avoid the complications caused by a divorce, a traumatic event which we know can deeply affect children.
— Co-parenting allows you to start a family with someone trustworthy and like-minded, which in turn creates a loving and safe environment for the child.
— Since co-parenting is a private arrangement, there are no (or very few) administrative or legal burdens. The co-parents can come to an agreement amongst themselves that best suits everyone involved.
Looking for a co-parent can take time. It’s crucial to choose carefully the person with whom you’re going to raise a child. They should be someone responsible, that you truly appreciate and respect. Being able to agree on the most important things, such as the conception method, custody and the child’s education, is also essential.
Start your family with a co-parent:
Another option that is gaining in popularity is to team up with another single person in order to become a parent. The goal is not to have a romantic relationship with them and not even necessarily to live together (although this is always a possibility), but simply to have a child together. This modern way of parenting is called co-parenting, or platonic parenting.
Some find their co-parent amongst their friendship group or extended social circle. However, finding someone you know who is willing to make this kind of commitment with you is not always straightforward. Thankfully, you can now search for your future platonic partner online. It is best to sit with legal council and iron out exactly how you would like to plan the child’s future out. Who might pay for what, which schools are acceptable, how will you plan to raise this child. Having a third party to help decide these factors could be very important key to making sure you both are the right fit to co-parent together. As a matter of fact, a number of dedicated platforms connecting aspiring parents have popped up over the past few years, which just goes to prove that demand is high!
How does raising a child without living together work?
Unlike with adoption or purchasing sperm in a sperm bank, co-parenting is a private arrangement. Consequently, there is almost no paperwork involved. Together, you can come to the best arrangement regarding conception, custody, education, as well as anything else related to your future child. Nonetheless, it’s highly recommended to draft a co-parenting agreement in order to clearly establish, in print, your intentions and wishes, as well as each parent’s responsibilities and rights towards the child.
Co-parenting is a good option for those who don’t want to raise a child on their own and want them to grow up with both of their parents. Additionally, it’s important for children to know where they come from, as this helps them to construct their identity. Before you start your search, you should be aware that finding the perfect co-parent can take a while, sometimes even years. And for good reason: you’re about to commit to at least 18 years of raising a happy child together!
How to get pregnant with a co-parent:
Just as with sperm donation, you can become pregnant via fertility treatments such as intrauterine insemination (IUI), at-home insemination or in vitro fertilization (IVF). The method you choose will depend on your preferences, as well as your fertility. For instance, those who have had their eggs frozen will undergo IVF, which may also be recommended for women with certain fertility issues. All in all, it’s best to pay a visit to your physician to get some professional advice!
ABOUT GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Founded in 2008, CoParents.com is a social media platform that connects sperm donors, aspiring parents and surrogates from all around the world (USA, Australia, Canada, etc.). Because there are many different types of family in today’s society, CoParents helps same-sex couples, those experiencing infertility issues, and single people to have a baby via alternative methods. Online, they can find the solution which best suits their personal situation, whether this is building their family through a co-parenting arrangement, egg and sperm donation, or surrogacy.
Just as with other dating websites, men and women can browse co-parents’ or sperm donors’ profiles before contacting those who best correspond to their search. Regardless of sexual orientation, relationship status or any infertility problems that they might be experiencing, at CoParents.com potential parents are able to find everything that they need in order to realize their dream of parenthood.