“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” –Socrates
By this time in my life, I had done far more adventurous or dangerous activities than anyone would ever say egg freezing actually is. I take to heart and live out the notoriously famous quote, “Do one thing every day that scares you,” by Eleanor Roosevelt. I can’t say there was much left on my list of things that “scares” me, however I suppose egg freezing should go into my “scares you” column.
I have a great support system or network of friends and people surrounding me that I love and trust in my life. My immediate family is spread out through the country and is not local. Only on a few occasions and with much planning do they visit or come to see me, but that is okay. I accepted that and created a world where I am self-dependent and reliable. While I don’t need help, it is still nice to know you could have it if you wanted it. I’m an adult, but sometimes you just want someone to tell you that it will all be okay. I feel like I’m always alone to tackle life’s challenges and this time during egg freezing, I just didn’t feel like being alone.
I don’t put up walls often because I feel like living a life that is open and free of secrets is one I prefer. I choose a lifestyle where my choices are typically out for display. But when one does choose to live this way, it leaves you with the risk of being misunderstood or judged. When going through something as incredibly personal like egg freezing the thoughts and ideas of how others might react when they learn of the plans and news leaves you in a very vulnerable place. Vulnerability for anyone can be hard, let alone the whole process of egg freezing and injecting your body full of hormones.
I decided to try and not reveal these decisions at first. See who noticed if I dropped off the map or was more quiet than usual. To my surprise, it was by far the most silent few weeks I can ever remember. Rarely did anyone check-in on me, ask me how I am doing, or inquire about going out. It was strange at first, so I resolved to explain what I was going through if anyone were to ask. I initially shared my plans to egg freeze with a few close friends and my next-door neighbor, so in case I needed physical help they could be there for me. While I don’t regret sharing those details with my neighbor, I did hear some damaging and unkind words she said about my choice to egg freeze. Luckily, I learned them well after my procedure was over. I’m only suggestion to be prepared, as not everyone will share your enthusiasm for protecting your future the way you will.
When anyone first hears about this process, known as oocyte cryopreservation, it sounded like some sort of sci-fi fantasy like an answer to all women problems. While I don’t think it is an answer to all of women’s problems, I do believe it is an added benefit for your future self. Success rates are hard to pin down. Every clinic and doctors has different results and that is why it is important to choose one you trust. I suggest asking around and hearing about experiences of others. What did they like about the clinic or doctor, what they wish was different are all good questions to start with. Trust your gut here. Take the sum account of your experiences, ease of use, convenience, and what you have heard to decide if that clinic is right for you.
When you reach a certain age in life, I think it is common to realize life is too short to worry about the way you are perceived. Now is the time to live out your days with whatever time you have left on this planet the way you want to. The most common regret when dying is how people wished they had had the courage to live a life true to themselves versus the life others expected them to live. Whenever you try to make positive changes in your life, you’ll almost always meet that change with resistance. Take comfort to know you are doing what is best for you and you are the only one that doing that needs to matter to.
Hope today’s blog empowers you through knowledge, education, encouragement, and sparks you to make the choices best for you. Let’s make smarter fertility choices together. What do you think about this journey so far? What choices are you planning to make for your future self? What messages touched you to make a bolder choice? What has sparked inside you a desire to make changes today? How do you plan to execute those changes? Would love to hear from you and learn about your story.