I was reluctant to share my egg freezing results. This is not an egg freezing competition. I do not want others to compare. Comparison is the thief of all joy. Especially with online social media, which already does that “comparison” thing naturally. We have a tendency to compare our everyday lives as we know them to other’s highlight reels. I have been particularly mindful to avoid this terrible habit, as it only leaves me feeling worse about my situation (which is not bad at all) for no good reason, but some times it is hard not to compare.
So, for this reason, I hesitated to being 100% open about the number of eggs this third cycle was able to produce. I spent an entire year planning, strategizing, and preparing my body for this undertaking. It influenced what I ate, what I drank, how much extra time I had to socialize depending on if I had completed my workout for the day, and if it fit into my tightly planned budget. All of these are sacrifices worth it to me. In exchange, I would receive peace of mind that I did everything within my power to protect my family future.
I want to explain how you are NOT your egg count number. That is just a glimpse, a snap-shot, one month’s look at your fertility. What many often forget when going through a simulation and fertility cycle, is how your eggs must grow evenly with the hormones and medications to make it at the end for a mature egg (M2 level) to be frozen. Maybe your body or science didn’t work in your favor. Maybe one of your follicles liked to hog the medications and grow larger than the rest. It is very tricky to get a good number of eggs to grow evenly together.
Whatever amount of eggs you are able to freeze is better than none and an additional chance you never had before. Even if you haven’t been able to freeze just yet, the future eggs you are going to freeze is better than none. I’m proud of you for taking the step to freeze in the first place. You are light years ahead of others by just doing that!
Preparing for an unknown future is HARD. I like to remind myself to keep the faith, keep on the path, keep forging ahead. Unlike university or school or work, you can not just “work hard” and achieve a pregnancy or family. This is a process that is part science, part genetics, part luck. I constantly remind myself how lucky I am to be born during a time when egg freezing is viable because freezing eggs is the best technology we have today since the birth control pill was invented for women in the 1960’s. Besides it only takes ONE good egg (and good sperm) to be a baby. You are not in an egg race and you are certainly not your egg number.
Every month your body recruits a different number of follicles which is beyond your control. Each one of my fertility cycles, I’ve completed was vastly different from the previous before. Frozen eggs can increase your chances for parenthood someday. I’m egg-cited for the possibilities of that part of the journey. For now, I’m content to be able to relax, explore dating, and see the world until I’m ready for those next steps.
After adding more eggs to my collection, I finally feel like I can officially retire from freezing just in time for my 37th birthday. I never felt this much relief until now. It has been a long 5-year journey. Egg freezing is the best birthday gift I could have given myself, knowing I did all that was in my power to protect my future. It did not come without sacrifice and planning. I do have some theories about why this cycle was the best I’ve ever been able to freeze.
Cycle three was more successful than I could have imagined and resulted in more M2s than either of my other two cycles combined. I saw a jump in my AMH test from my baseline testing in years prior. That was the first indication that I might have been doing lifestyle factors that were actually making an impact. I attribute the year-long prep taking daily fertility supplements, being off birth control to wake-up my ovaries after years of hormones, having good genes or genetics, limiting my drinking, increasing my exercise routines, and the aggressive fertility stimulation protocol I was on for the great egg yield results.
After successful freezing a total of 61 eggs, I’m finally comfortable not worrying about the future as the odds are in my favor. Now on to the next adventure and eventually finding worthy enough sperm (ie: future husband) to have a family with. I’m leaving my options open and not against the idea of using a sperm donor too. I have seen that option work great for several of my friends and love watching their kids grow. Either way, I now have options.
How about you? What do you think? Do you feel like you are your egg count number? Are you private about how many eggs you were able to collect or about freezing in the first place? Do you think about or compare your egg freezing experience to others you may know about or friends who have done it? How much does your egg count number matter to you? I would love to hear from you. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 978-EGG-CLUB.
I would also like to encourage you to realize this is not a fertility competition and the only person you ever are competing against in life is with yourself. Life is a journey. Make good decisions and enjoy the ride.